Shoulda
by crushie
Summary: I loved her. I cheated on her. I told her. She hates me. I hate myself. But I still love her. I regret everything. I regret cheating and lying to her. I regret telling her the truth about it. Whoever said truth is always best didn't know nothing.


**A/N: Okay, I'm back with a new twoshot. For those of you who were wondering why I took so long to come up with another story, I was on vacation and left my stories at home, so I didn't really work on them that much.**

**Anyway, this is just an experimental story. It's a twoshot songfic based on Drew Seeley's song "Shoulda". It has an unlikely pairing in it so it might not work for some of you guys. I actually wrote this quite some time ago so it's not really my best writing (if you want to find better writing, check out my other Troypay story "What's In A Name?") so I apologize for some grammatical errors.**

**This chapter is written from one person's point of view but I'm not going to reveal who. You'll figure it out soon enough. And remember, it's an unlikely pairing so again, it might not work for some of you guys.**

**Well, I'm going to stop talking-- er, typing now so you all can check out my story.**

* * *

**Shoulda**

_**I thought about sittin' back**_

_**Straight denyin' it**_

_**But I knew that you deserved more**_

_**So I faced the music**_

_**And you left in a fit**_

_**I'm wonderin' what I told the truth for**_

"Don't ever talk to me again you fucking bastard! And don't even think about showing your damn face here again, jackass!"

She slammed the door on my face after she kicked me out of her house. Well, there you have it. I did it. I made Gabriella Montez curse. _Four _times. That was it. She officially hates me now.

How I know that is because she _never _curses. Not once during the time we had gone out had I heard her curse, or swear, or even say the word 'hell'. Now I had just made her angry enough for her to use four forbidden words she promised never to say.

I guess that makes me a bad person, huh? But I didn't mean to do it, I didn't mean for her to swear. It just happened.

Now I'm walking on the sidewalk in the suburbs of Albuquerque, on my way home, my hands in my jean pockets, my thick hair blowing in the chilly wind. I wrap my letterman jacket tighter around me and start thinking about what in the world possessed me to tell her the truth.

Don't get me wrong Gabriella is a _great _girl. She's smart, sweet, caring, and everything you could ever ask for in a girlfriend. She would cheer me up when I'm down, she would be there for me during games, she took care of me when I was sick, she helped me with my homework, she's just… she's amazing. But after a while, you get tired of it all, you know? It's just… it got boring. It became more of a routine and I'm not really into following routines. I needed _change._

One fine day, I met Theresa, a cheerleader from West High. And boy was _that _a change. I know what you're thinking. This dude is so shallow. He's falling for a cheerleader when he already has a smart and caring girlfriend.

But you don't understand. Theresa is different, okay? She's… genuine. She likes me for me and not because I'm a jock. I know that because there are a ton of jocks over at West High. She could've dated them if she wanted to, but she didn't, she wanted _me. _Even if we go to rival schools, she still likes me.

One day I mustered up the courage to ask her out. She accepted and we started going out in secret, behind Gabriella's back. I would make up excuses and tell Gabby that I had basketball practice when I really didn't and I would take Theresa to my favorite restaurants, take her to the movies, do everything with her, even things I haven't done with Gabriella yet.

I guess you could say I was a terrible boyfriend to Gabriella. Going out with another girl behind her back is not really what a good boyfriend does. But the one thing you can never say is that I never loved her. Because I did. And I still care about her. You'd be lying if you said that about me. I care for her so much. I didn't want to hurt her, and I never wanted to hurt her. Which is probably why I told her the truth myself so she wouldn't have to find out from someone else.

Eventually Theresa sat me down and told me that she knew what we were doing was wrong. She knew I had a girlfriend, and she didn't want to hurt Gabriella. She told me that she respected our relationship and that she didn't want to get in the way of that. I promised her I would take care of everything.

So this afternoon, I spent some time with Gabriella. Eventually, I broke the sad news to her. That I've been seeing someone else behind her back, and that I was in love with Theresa and such. I apologized a billion times and said that I'll try to make it up to her. I figured she would understand and break things off with me gently, but I was wrong. She started crying hysterically. I came over next to her and tried to comfort her. I attempted to put my arm around her but she wouldn't let me touch her.

Then she started yelling at me about how she just wasted her time on me, and how I was just like every other boy in East High. A complete jerk and absolutely shallow.

Then she threw me out of her house and said those things about me… and well… you know the rest.

* * *

_**And now you're flauntin' him**_

_**At our favorite joint**_

_**Knowin' that it'll get back to me**_

_**But girl enough already**_

_**You've already made your point**_

_**Why can't you accept "I'm sorry?"**_

It's been a month since Gabriella broke up with me, and guess what? I'm completely miserable. I think fate is purposely making me miserable these days.

First off, I can't stop thinking about Gabby. I want to stop, but it's like… I'm addicted to her, like she's some kind of… drug. I can't even focus on basketball anymore, let alone schoolwork. I miss her mannerisms, the way she taps her pencil on her desk when she's deep in thought, and the way her brow scrunches up when she's hard at work. I miss her so much that it hurt to think about it. My temple would start throbbing.

Secondly, about a week ago, I was supposed to take Theresa out for dinner to her favorite restaurant, _Je T'aime_, after school. She told me she was sick with the flu and that the doctor ordered for her to stay home. Well, I thought that it would be very nice if I brought her some flowers and visit her, to cheer her up, so I drove all the way downtown to buy her favorite flowers.

When I got to her house, I used the spare key that was hidden in the flowerpot next to the welcome mat and opened the door, so I wouldn't have to disturb her. I knew her parents weren't home because their cars weren't on the driveway yet.

I climbed up the stairs slowly, not wanting to disturb the piece and slowly but surely opened the door to her room. As I witnessed something horrible, a tear fell down my face. I dropped the bouquet of flowers on the floor and ran down the steps. By that point, tears were just flowing from my eyes. They were like faucets that I couldn't turn off.

When I got to my car, I started it up and just sped off, driving to who knows where. I just thought about what I had just seen. Theresa – _my _Theresa – was kissing another guy. In her bedroom. Alone. And not just an ordinary guy. I remembered his face. It was West High's basketball captain.

So… it was true. Girls just like me because I'm a jock and not because of me. They like me because I can play sports really well.

That sucks.

Now I wonder… did Gabriella think the same thing? Did she just like me because I was a jock, or did she like me because of me? What if I didn't play basketball, or baseball, or any other sport at all? What if I shaved off my hair? What if I was just as academically focused as her and not some _jock_ playing stupid games? Would she still have liked me?

Right at this moment, my question is being answered. I'm sitting on a barstool, sipping a cappuccino, in my favorite café hangout near school, when Gabriella walks in with a guy latched to her arm. This is an awkward surprise.

The guy goes and grabs a booth as she walks up to the bar and orders her favorite latté and an extra cappuccino for her arm-candy. As she pays for her drinks and turns around, she catches a glimpse of me. Before she could walk off, she gives me one more glare, like the one's Sharpay gives, only not as scary.

She struts back to her seat, swaying her hips at me, trying to make me jealous. As much as I don't want to admit it, it's working.

She sits across from the guy and hands him the cappuccino. I realize the guy is Bryce from the Scholastic Decathlon team. He's Asian with black hair, and glasses. Although, the glasses don't make him look like a nerd. He's really smart. He's one of the people who challenge Gabriella to see who can get the higher mark. He's a preppy dresser. He's my complete opposite but definitely Gabriella's type.

So maybe she did like me for me.

She starts sipping her latté and licking her lips slowly, as if taunting me (although Bryce seems to like it too). Then she giggles as she takes Bryce's hand in hers. She then takes a napkin, leans forward, and pretends to wipe away a smudge of cappuccino from his chin, purposely giving him the chance to take a peek down her shirt.

The damn pervert takes the stupid chance and looks down her shirt. She notices this completely, so she stands up and sits on Bryce's lap.

Before they could do anything else, I run out the café without looking back. What is wrong with her? What is she trying to do? Is she trying to make me jealous? Is she doing it because she actually _likes _Bryce? I don't know anymore. But all I know is, I'm falling back in love with Gabriella. Whether I want to or not, I'm falling back in love with her.

I keep running until I can see the water fountain in front of the school. Then I slow down my pace to a walk. The water fountain has always been a great place for me to think. I always come here to sort things out, no matter how big the crisis is.

I sit down on the side of the fountain and rest my elbows on my knees, interlacing my fingers together. I look down at the cracks on the ground. They're nothing significant; they're just… there. They're there for me to look at. Sometimes, I even talk to them. I know… that sounds really pathetic, but I can't help it. Nobody would ever listen to me, let alone understand me.

I filled those cracks with my deepest secrets and stories that I haven't told anybody, not even my parents or my best friends. They hold so many memories of mine. I think every time I tell them a problem or a story, they get longer and wider. Well they better brace themselves because I'm about to tell them another one.

* * *

_**Now you're taking every chance**_

_**To throw it in my face**_

_**Just to show me now that I've lost it**_

_**I know I hurt you bad**_

_**But what you're doing now is no different**_

'_**Cause you don't really love him**_

Today, I walk into drama class seeing lips and tongue all over the place. Bryce is kissing Gabriella like he might die if he doesn't. I've seen people kiss before, but I can't seem to get my attention back from them. Yes, I admit, it's bothering me. It's bothering me because they kiss like they're in love with each other.

I don't want them to be in love with each other. Watching them kiss like this is making me nervous and angry at the same time. Nervous because this could develop into something more, and angry because… because… I don't know. I guess I really _am _still in love with Gabriella.

I know I hurt her. I know she deserves better. I know I shouldn't have cheated on her in the first place. I regret all of that, I regret the cheating, the lying, everything bad I did to her, I fully regret.

But why does she have to do the same thing to me? Why is she doing this? Why is she trying to make me jealous? And worse, she's torturing me with it because she knows I would freak, she knows I would care, because she knows I still love her.

Does she think by making me jealous, she can make me come back to her, begging and pleading for her to take me back, so she could just turn me down and hurt me? I'm not going to let that happen. I didn't want to hurt her and now she's purposely hurting me? How dare she.

But what she doesn't know is that this thing with Bryce isn't going to last very long. She doesn't love him. She'll never love him. I know that because I know she's still in love with me.

At least, I think she is.

* * *

_**Now I have nothin' left**_

_**You never learned to forgive and forget**_

_**You're rippin' my heart out of my chest**_

_**Whoever said truth is always best**_

_**Didn't know nothin'…**_

_**Didn't know nothin'…**_

_**Didn't know nothin', nothin'**_

_**I shoulda kept my mouth shut**_

_**I coulda kept my mouth shut**_

_**I shoulda kept my mouth shut**_

It's been a week since the first kissing incident, and things have only gone downhill from there. She hasn't given up yet. She still thinks she's in love with him. She keeps flirting with him and he keeps flirting back.

Now I'm not even sure if she's just doing it to make me jealous or she's actually beginning to like Bryce. I really hope it isn't the latter.

This whole day, I've been trying to catch her, so I could have a word with her. She's ignored me every time I tried. School just ended and I'm not about to go home without talking to Gabriella.

She comes out of her Chemistry class and I pull her to the side. She keeps protesting and hitting me with her free hand but it doesn't faze me. I drag her to the nearest janitor closet, close the door, lock it, and stand in front of it, blocking her only way out.

"What the heck? What is wrong with you? Let me out!" she shouts, slapping me on the chest with her small hands. I grab her wrists to keep her from hitting me as she struggles to get out.

"No," I say. "Not without talking to me."

"What's there to talk about?" she asks, freeing her hands from my tight grip.

"I've been trying to catch you all day. I've been trying to apologize."

"Apologize for what?"

"For cheating on you."

"Well, you just wasted your time because I'm not forgiving you and I never will."

"I'm sorry Gabriella. I really like you and I don't know why I went out with Theresa. I guess it was just temptation. I really want you back Gabby. I want you to be mine again. And seeing you with Bryce is just… it hurts, okay?"

She looks at me quizzically for a while, thinking this might be a joke, but then her eyes soften. "I'm sorry you feel that way Chad, but I like Bryce, very much. You had your chance with me, but you decided to disregard it."

"Do you _really _like him?"

She sighs and says, "Yes I do. Very much. I might even…" she pauses and thinks about it for a while, "I might even love him."

I look at her with disbelief in my eyes. I try to look into her eyes and try to see if she's just tricking me, but her eyes say everything. She really does like him that much.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Scholastic Decathlon meeting to go to," she says quietly. I get away from the door to let her through. She closes the door behind her and I can hear her footsteps echoing through the hallway.

I lean on the door and slide down to the floor, hugging my knees close to my chest, burying my face in my knees. I start sobbing quietly.

I regret everything. I regret cheating on her, and I regret telling her the truth about it.

Whoever said truth is always best didn't know nothing.

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**Okay, so how was that for the first part? It might take a while for me to put up the next chapter because school just started (it was my first day yesterday) so everything's going to be a little hectic. I had actually planned to stop here and make it a oneshot, but I decided a few minutes ago that I shouldn't leave off right there. So I'm adding more. But remember, this is experimental and this is my first Charella and I wrote this first chapter a while ago so it's not my best writing. But tell me what you think anyway and give me some feedback. Thanks so much!**


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